In one of his weekly newsletters, James Clear wrote that “people usually judge you based on where you are at currently, not what you could become eventually. Don’t let one comment stop you from trying.” A recent podcast from Ryan Hawk and Dr. Michael Gervais discussed FOPO: “Our fear of other people’s opinions (FOPO) has become irrational and unproductive, and its negative effects reach far beyond performance.” As a high-performing leader or someone chasing a larger vision, the fear of opinions often stops us from trying. Here are five ways to overcome the fear of criticism:
- Know Yourself: The foundation for overcoming fear of opinions requires leaders to truly know themselves and their core values. High-performing leaders often write about and reflect on these core values, and they spend time iterating them over a lifetime. The process of evaluating their values helps them continuously improve. Knowing oneself allows us to rely not on other opinions, but rather on a deep understanding of what matters most. How well do you know yourself and your values?
- Define Success: Defining success means developing a clear visual of what the end game looks, sounds, and feels like. By defining success, high-performing people become great at understanding that it’s a process to achieve success, and it might take years to get there. This definition of success allows us to block out noise from others and focus on the actions required to reach goals. How clearly do you define the success you’re after?
- Process Over Outcome: Overcoming the fear of opinions requires us to develop a process focused action plan. Working through the plan one step at a time allows for consistent progress over time. One mistake here and another there shouldn’t derail the entire process. Certainly, one opinion or comment shouldn’t stop us because we know that it’s one step in a larger system. How consistently do you focus on the process over one outcome?
- The Inner Circle: The opinions of the 5-10 people in your inner circle matter more than anything else. Silencing the opinions or criticisms of others shouldn’t be the goal; the goal should be to focus on the people who matter the most and have the best input, specifically the people who have done similar work. Cultivating this group helps us avoid fear of other people’s opinions because we know that the feedback we focus on comes from those who matter. How well do you cultivate your inner circle?
- Everything Is Data: Overcoming fear of opinions means that we use every piece of feedback as only data. We can choose to use it to improve or we can dismiss it and move on. Taking out the personal or emotional connection to the feedback creates separation. High-performers develop greatly in using feedback as data and creating distance from the personal side of it. How effectively do you see feedback as data?
Fear of opinions and criticisms prevents many people from even starting or continuing the process. Our potential as leaders becomes significantly greater when we implement strategies to overcome those fears and commit to the process. High-performers know themselves, define success, and use feedback as data for continuous improvement, and they consistently separate themselves from the personal side of opinions.
How strategically do you work against the fear of opinions?