Educator and writer Rita Pierson said that “every child deserves a champion – an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be.” Early in my education and coaching career, I heard this quotation and watched the TED Talk by Mrs. Pierson, and it has always stayed with me. Leaders in education have a unique opportunity to build authentic relationships that dramatically impact people. Here are five ways to build authentic connections:
- Ask Questions: Great relationships are built on asking questions and really listening to the responses. Every interaction with people is an opportunity to ask questions, gather more information, and learn about their lives. Asking questions shows others that you’re willing to connect and learn about them at a deeper level. How consistently do you ask questions to build relationships?
- Know Names: Each time we interact with someone, we can use their name to build a connection. As a leader, educator, or coach, learning and knowing names establishes a sense of respect between people. The best leaders always use names, and they use names to show their compassion and empathy for others. How often do you use names to build connections?
- Check In: Great leaders check in with their people almost every day to build deeper connections. By checking in with people, we learn more about them: we learn about their strengths, weaknesses, stresses, and successes. When we check in with people, it’s easy to get a holistic version of who they are and we can further understand what drives them. How often do you check in with others to develop deeper relationships?
- Build Confidence: Great leaders find every way possible to build confidence in the people they lead. Building confidence means giving positive feedback, praising them for their work, cheering them on, among other actions. The actions of building confidence send a very important message that leaders care about the people they lead. What actions do you take to build confidence in others?
- Be Persistent: Building relationships is not a one time occurrence, and great leaders take a persistent, even relentless, approach to developing relationships. Building meaningful connections often takes time, but it also takes many repetitions to learn about people and establish relationships. Being persistent is especially important when challenged with a relationship that isn’t developing as quickly. How persistent are you when making connections?
Great leaders, educators, and coaches take strategic actions that support developing authentic relationships. They ask great questions, check in, and build confidence while staying persistent over time. The best leaders separate themselves through their relationship building abilities and capacity. Over time, they make long-term connections with people and make a positive impact.
What are your strategies for building authentic relationships as a leader?